By Socceroos fan Yury Glikin
After an 19 hour flight via Singapore, I arrived at Durban Stadium only hours after touching down and felt like Brendan Fevola on a Brownlow Awards two day bender.
It was very hard to get any shut eye after having a stab at Boonie’s drinking record and for some odd reason the hot hosties loved my mate's Borat impersonations.
Actually, I unintentionally spoke a dialect of Swahili and Borat when going through customs and I’m surprised we didn’t get the rubber glove treatment. Like the good bloke I am, I lent my boogie board bag to my mate on the proviso he lugs my duty free grog around.
Although Germany were the hot favourites to win this match, the 35,000 Socceroos fans were still in jovial spirits after drinking a shedload of beers. Unfortunately Budweiser is the official beer sold at all World Cup matches and it tastes like cats piss, but it beats going sober.
The atmosphere was electrifying as I watched the game on the half way line in the third tier up. In my $188 seat, I noticed a motley crue of fancy dressed themed freaks and clusters of hot Aussie and South African babes. Some of the German fans often draped in their black, yellow and red flag wore lederhosen and a minority acted like they had a 50cm bratwurst stuck up their demin cut-off shorts.
Even when the three time winners of the World Cup were 2-0 up at halftime, the bratwurst brigade still weren’t confident enough after they produced stronger odours than Nate Myles on a diet of baked beans and eggs.
To combat these offensive smells, we blew the annoying vuvuzela in the face of the brigade especially when Timmy Cahill was unfortunately red carded by the drug cartel looking ref in the 55th minute.
When striker Cacau scored the fourth goal and should really be playing for the country of his birth, Brazil, chants of “Haaaaary, Haaaary” echoed through parts of the stadium.
Harry Kewell has been declared fit to play; therefore coach Pim Verbeek should have put on the star player in our hardest group match - rather than leaving him on the bench and playing with his crown jewels.
We may have got our pants pulled down by the experienced German side with a 4-0 thrashing, but I’m still thrilled to have scored tickets to all Socceroos matches in the FIFA World Cup lottery. Some German fans even came up and apologised after the game.
Anyway bring on Ghana and bring on more biltong!
Do you think Tim Cahill was hard done by? Leave your comment below.
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